The Neon Leopard went On The Prowl and checked out The Grammy Awards. Since our invites clearly must have gotten lost in the mail we had to do it from in front of our television screens. We live-blogged our candid (and often snarky) commentary.
Read what we thought as we watched and add your two cents in the comments. Here we go!
Ash: So ummm, who invited the little clown from the Saw movies? Oh, Taylor Swift? Ok. I much prefer her with straight hair. I can’t handle the Ramen Noodle curls. This song is so darn catchy.
Chris: Taylor in Wonderland, anyone? How does this fit into the song? That performance left me lost. Great theatrics though.
L.L. looked dapper as always. And did he stop aging?
Ash: I like this song so much better with Elton John. Very pretty.
Chris: EEEEEEK ELTON!! OVER HERE!! That was more like it. Simple and drove the point home. Taylor – take notes!
Best Pop Solo Performance:
Ash: I wasn’t sure exactly how I felt about J-Lo’s dress. I have decided I would love it if the slit were not so ridiculously high. Put your sunglasses back on please, Pitbull.
Adele seems just so lovely and natural. It’s nice to see her in color for a change. She’s stunning.
Chris: Pitbull (I prefer sunglasses ON) and JLo’s leg presented the first award of the night for Best Pop solo performance. And hmmm Adele is nominated. Okay we’ll wait… To see if….. SHOCKERRRR!!!!!!! She won!! YAYAY! She gives the best acceptances speeches. And also looks great in something other than black! We’ll work on the actual style later on….
Ash: Is this a single? I hate it when groups perform songs I don’t know at the Grammys. I don’t get to sing along. Hey, they’re making it rain. Literally.
Chris: Neil Patrick Harris is funny as usual as he presents Fun. I always love these understated performances.
Miranda Lambert and Dierks Bentley Performance:
Ash: Her dress is rather ill-fitting, no?
Chris: I was too distracted by Miranda’ s dress and microphone to hear what they were saying.
Miguel and Wiz Khalifa Performance:
Ash: Oh yay, Miguel. Love him and this song!! Oh, Wiz…where is your shirt? Also, doesn’t it seem like Amber Rose has been pregnant for like , a year now? Maybe she should have sat this one out? It’s over. That was short… So is Miguel apparently.
Chris: Miguel’s interactive performance of Adorn with Wiz…. wait. Do they match? Anyway. I love this song. And Miguel has natural talent.
Country Solo Performance
Ash: Carrie Underwood has always rubbed me the wrong way, and I’m not entirely sure why.
Chris: Best country solo. I like country. And I like Blake. Here’s to hoping he wins. But alas. Carrie takes It. Good for her.
Song of the Year:
Ash: I love Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. What a gorgeous couple.
Call Me Maybe had better not win Song of the Year. Oh good, I’m glad FUN won. They are refreshing and different. I dig them. Why didn’t they thank Janelle Monet? Did Jay-Z just tell them to shut up?
Chris: How cute are Faith and Tim? I’m sure she looked lovely, but Tim’s hat though…….. Song of the Year already? Let’s go Carly! Canada rocks! Oh man. All these songs are great. Congrats to Fun. But Call me Maybe was definitely more catchy, no? Why is T-Swizzle cheering so hard for them? Who does she have her eyes on?
OMG JOHNNY DEPP. I DIEEEEEE. A THOUSAND DEATHS!!
Mumford and Sons Performance:
Ash: Umm… Who are Mumford and Sons?
Chris: I can’t hear Mumford and Sons over their instruments. Sad. Oh. They toned down the instruments. Now I hear them. Not so sad.
Justin Timberlake Performance:
Ash: I love what Beyoncé is wearing and Ellen is hilarious!
Robin Thicke, what have you done with Justin Timberlake? You’re not fooling me. I love JT, but is anyone else as underwhelmed with this song as I am?
I wish he would bring SexyBack again.
Chris: Beyoncé, we get it. Your pants have pockets. Ellen kills me. And adds personality to the presentation.
So glad JT is back performing. But I won’t lie; “Friends with benefits” was a hilarious movie. Great comeback JT. Your band was on point. But Next time let’s dance some more, k?
Best Urban Contemporary Album:
Ash: Is Kelly Rowland tall, or is Nas short?
Aha, Frank! Take that, Chris Brown!
Chris: Kelly Rowlannnnd. Right after Bey huh? I see you Grammys. Best Urban Contemporary album. Is this Miguel’s? Nahhhh frank.YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY FRANK TOOK IITTTTT
Best Rock Performance:
Ash: This NCIS woman’s ponytail is unfortunate. It is very emo cheerleader.
Chris: What category is this?!? Rock performance. I am unmoved.
Maroon 5 Alicia Keys Performance:
Ash: I like Adam Levine. He’s just a little bit slight. He needs a sandwich. Or ten.
I can’t tell you how much I am loving this Girl on Fire performance , and Alicia’s dress.
Chris: Alicia keys and Maroon 5. I expect nothing but greatness. As great as my crush on Adam. Go Alicia!! You’re on fire on those drums! And does the memo allow bottom boob cleavage?
Best Pop Vocal Album
Ash: Kelly Clarkson seems so down to Earth. I just wish she were a brunette again.
Chris: Keith urban and Kaley! Love the blazer, girl. And funny even off screen. I like. Best pop album? Come onnnnnnnn Maroon5. Ok. I like Kelly so that’s cool.
Ash: I love this song and always wondered who the male in it was. I used to love Rihanna. Now, I’m just disappointed in her. This is a beautiful performance. Not to take away from it or anything, but did anyone else wanna pull her wig forward a bit?
Chris:Rihrih. Let’s hear this now. Can I add she looks upset that she has to cover up? She’s gonna use that memo as rolling paper later. This was a nice change from what we normally see from her at the Grammys. But I guess her being upset worked in her favour for the performance.
Rap / Song Collaboration:
Ash: “I would like to thank the swap meet for his hat. ” Bahaha.
Chris: Neyo and Carly present in matching outfits. Does John Legend have a chance in a category with Jay-Z and Kanye? Didn’t think so. Ummmm did the “wrap it up” music just stop as HOV started to talk? Maybe I should practice throwing up that symbol and see where it gets me….
I found my missing chain. The Dream has it. You may wanna check his neck for yours.
The Black Keys Performance:
Ash: I don’t know much about The Black Keys, but I love their sound. Something new for Ash’s iPod!
Chris: This broke girl cleans up nicely. And omg why don’t I know the Black Keys?!? I loved this performance! Must get caught up. Or maybe I just wanna know more about the keyboardist’s headpiece?
Kelly Clarkson Performance:
Ash: I was lucky enough to hear Kelly Clarkson perform last year and its one of those incredible voices that you don’t really get the magnitude of until you hear it in person. She is amazing. Natural Woman! Sing it Kelly!
Chris: Kelly Clarkson’s performance was beautiful as expected. Her rendition of Tennessee Rose was amazing. Natural Woman was good as well but didn’t measure up to the first song.
Best Country Album
Chris: Best country…. I don’t know who this is… so how about that Kelly Clarkson everyone!!
Bob Marley Tribute:
Ash: Why are even the best awards shows always about an hour too long?
Hi Bruno Mars. I find it funny how it’s like his cocaine arrest never happened. No one really noticed. Hi Sting! I love that the band seems to be having the best time ever.
Adele is always chewing gum.
Hi RiRi. Hi Ziggy. Get down Ellen. This collaboration is fierce. I’d buy this. Hi Damian. Sit down Taylor.
Chris: Bruno mars! I always enjoy watching him perform. The kid is talented. And short. And his band is always a treat. Of courrrrse Sting can keep up with these youths. After all it’s Sting! Ziggy Marley has his dad’s flavour. Oh I see the performance is featuring rihrih’s chest tat. Damian Marley flattened the performance yessssss. This was the highlight of my evening no doubt.
The Lumineers Performance:
Ash: I find this song ( and the hey hos) grating. My Mom just thought Melissa Etheridge was Paul Schaffer.
SIT DOWN TAYLOR!
Chris: Another band I need to check out. This is what I love about the Grammys – you discover new mus- hang on! I know this song, yay me!
Jack White :
Ash: Jack White has a song with Tracey Moore from Cityline? He seems to be channeling Johnny Depp in Dark Shadows.
Chris: Okay I definitely don’t know Jack White. Whoa. Talk about two different styles of music. Honourable mention goes to his sparkly suit.
Best New Artist:
Ash: I love, love Katy Perry but why does she look like one of the Real Housewives tonight?
Chris: Katy’s memo-ignoring cleavage presents best new artist. Come onnnnn Fun.! Oh snap. Frank is here too? Well congrats to Fun.
Hunter Hayes and Carrie Underwood Performances:
Ash: Hunter Hayes Performance
Ash: Who is this and why didn’t LLCJ introduce him? That was fast.
Why did she wear her wedding dress? Ok, I see what you’re doing with the dress. Very cool! She must have to stay very still.
Chris: OH this Hunter kid sings this “Wanted” song? I thought there were 5 of them? Wait. That’s a group called The Wanted right? I’m so confused….. Oh goodie Carrie is here to distract me. That dress is definitely doing the trick. Holy fabric batman! Oh I see why – It’s a backdrop. Got it! Great job Ms. Underwood!
Record of the Year:
Ash: My friend just told me that everyone in Prince’s band is shorter than him. Not easy to do.
Chris:PRINCE!! I Have DIED!!!!!!! I. LOVE. HIM. Of course he gets to present Record of the Year in his infinite coolness. I don’t even care who won, it’s all about Prince. This. This was the highlight of my evening.
Chick Corea Performance and new Grammy Category
Ash: Nice quickie jazz performance but they should have been introduced before, not after.
Is this Grammy man the Dad from Family Ties?
I’m fading fast. Grammys are loooong.
Chris: You never realize how many great musicians we’ve lost until the Grammys In Memoriam segment.
Elton again! What a treat. The entire performance was a treat. Even T Bone. And I heard Mumford and sons better. BRAVO!!!
Kudos to Grammys and the Music Education Award.
Frank Ocean Performance:
Ash: Who is this Don Juan that brought us back from commercial break. I’m too tired. I can’t take this seriously right now. Why are they having performers introduce performances? It’s all too confusing for after 11pm.
This Frank Ocean performance is bringing me back to life. The piano effect is cooler than Carrie Underwood’s projection screen dress by far. I’m sorry…I’m going to say it. Has anyone else noticed that Frank Ocean sounds a little off live? I love his music, I do, but this is the second time I’ve noticed the pitchy business.
Chris: Who is this singing Elton John in tongues?!!…. Oh here’s Frank. How I love thee. Did he just say “boy”? Go Frank!!! Be yourself.
Album of the Year :
Ash: Good, the end is in sight. Grandma Ash is not cut out for this. Adele’s makeup artist is amazing. Nude palette and lashes galore. Love.
And of course…the one performer I don’t know won Album of the Year. So, this must mean I live under a musical rock.
It’s still not over!? I love me some Grammys but come on!
Chris: Adele! Oh. I thought she was going to perform. Womp. She’s so funny. And down to earth. And awesome. Come onnnnnn Frank Ocean for AOTY. Oh. Ok. Congrats to Mumford and sons I suppose.
L.L. Cool J Performance:
Ash: I didn’t think I was going to make it to the end for a while but I- ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….
Chris: How fitting that the great host does the last performance? WHADDUP?!
Thats it for The 2013 Grammy Awards with The Neon Leopard. Let us know what you thought below. See you next year!